Interestingly enough the tears did not flow as hard as I thought they would but they did sting my eyes and slow me down to a dead stop when they did finally start. How low can I go --- who know --- simply going to have to take it day by day for now. Lost Amanda when I went to jail last time. I miss her. She is gone. I hope that part of my story is not over. I knew when i got out last time i had more time to serve. I just did not know i would have to do it so soon after the last time. I hate jail but now i have acted accordingly, took my punishments for my actions. It is done.
Update on my life as I get out of jail again serving from Christmas eve to just a few days ago. My children must think me a horrible person. They have not seen me since mid december and I simply was so ashamed of being back in jail so soon after my last bid that I could not even call. I don't know what to say. Honestly I do not. Eli and I are already having major issues over... well over everything i guess. Xander is so sensitive and I know my absences hurt him the most but I also know that he has wonderful supports and I am very very sure Angela is happier without me. Life without cy.
I went to jail fve times during the year 2007.
5 fricking times!!!
NO MORE!!!
I am once more homeless, alone, without friends without family, without love. Lost it all once more but this time I feel that the hardship I have endured is preparing me for something bigger than I could have ever handled without the tempering I have been through. Am I right? Only time will tell...
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